You were like th raindrop in my drought , luv .
Problems and conflicts are finally solved . Another stone of my chest .
Now having dnt in it resource room , obviously im using th lappy ! haha , i know imma bad girl but im still a guai kia k ? HEHE (:
Today met matos in prime and i was on time ! hehe , i think its th first time when we can walk into school peacefully without worrying whether we would be late anot , haha . Im just toooo bored now ): lol . Nothing to do , finised my ideations and now moving on to ergonomics for dnt . Cant even find any other resources . HAIS ! Shall work harder on it , hehe . Going to take class photo later and my hair sucks today ! unlucky or what ?! hehe . Midyear exams are coming , going to study damm hard !! omg , hehe (:
Perhaps will be coming back to blog again later bahs , lovely toodles ^^ .
You held my hand tight throughout th darkest time of my life , you were like th rainbow tt came out after th rainy day . Finally i could say , Iloveyou (L) .
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Moodless
There is a kind of love called breaking up .
Its already enough . I dont want to scream again , take away th pain i feel . It has been a long time since i felt this way again . Seeing you guys together , i can only feel th ache in my heart . Seeing yr smile whenever you are with her , i guess i made th right choice to really step out . I really did trust in love one more time when i was with you , but i guess i made a wrong choice . I know sometimes i might be harsh to you but its because i dont want you to get close to me . Because i dont want to feel th pain even more .
In front of you , i pretend im okayy . But behind yr back , all my tears flow . What hurts th most , was being so close . Having so much to say , and watching you walk away was th most painful part of everything . It hard to deal to deal with pain tt is approaching , seeing you with her . Thats why i refuse to go close to you again . You might think tt im unhappy with you but actually im not . Im just trying to avoid you . Perhaps i made th right choice to keep quiet and let you two be it . because i know i'll never be th one tt you will have in yr arms again .
Yesterday after school went to have breakfast with matos first than went to look with willyn . Had alot of fun talking ! Haha , will meet up with you again my dear ! ^^ . After went to childcare , cant believe i actually played with dough ._. HAHA ! But it was fun ! LOL ! Did not take any pictures cause was too busy ): . After went back to school for speech day , weiyang was so funny !! HAHA (: . After tt stayed in school till 8 and went home cause wasnt feeling well really . Head was killing me too .. Going to stay at home to study and rest .
You two really look compatible together , you have my blessings ..
Its already enough . I dont want to scream again , take away th pain i feel . It has been a long time since i felt this way again . Seeing you guys together , i can only feel th ache in my heart . Seeing yr smile whenever you are with her , i guess i made th right choice to really step out . I really did trust in love one more time when i was with you , but i guess i made a wrong choice . I know sometimes i might be harsh to you but its because i dont want you to get close to me . Because i dont want to feel th pain even more .
In front of you , i pretend im okayy . But behind yr back , all my tears flow . What hurts th most , was being so close . Having so much to say , and watching you walk away was th most painful part of everything . It hard to deal to deal with pain tt is approaching , seeing you with her . Thats why i refuse to go close to you again . You might think tt im unhappy with you but actually im not . Im just trying to avoid you . Perhaps i made th right choice to keep quiet and let you two be it . because i know i'll never be th one tt you will have in yr arms again .
Yesterday after school went to have breakfast with matos first than went to look with willyn . Had alot of fun talking ! Haha , will meet up with you again my dear ! ^^ . After went to childcare , cant believe i actually played with dough ._. HAHA ! But it was fun ! LOL ! Did not take any pictures cause was too busy ): . After went back to school for speech day , weiyang was so funny !! HAHA (: . After tt stayed in school till 8 and went home cause wasnt feeling well really . Head was killing me too .. Going to stay at home to study and rest .
You two really look compatible together , you have my blessings ..
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Hurt
Me too , wants to loved by someone dearly . Me too , wants a hug when im down . Me too , wants you to say tt "She's mine " . But i know this will never happen . I want to be th rose tt shines the brightest in yr garden . Sadly , i cant .
Do you even know i cried ? Do you even know how many tears dropped ? DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MY HEART BLEEDS ?! Do you even know how my heart feels ? Do you even know i fell damm sick thanks to you ? Do you even know how i really FUCKING feel ?!
I give up really , i give up in everything . Being so stressed up because of this , i cant help but to let my tears flow again and again . If only i can scream it all out in one shot but sadly i cant . I only can keep every single feeling to myself . Everytime i see you , i hold on to my tears . And after let everything out when no one is there . One fine day really , i'll fall into depression again . Its already predicted . Trust me , its only a matter of time when i really cant take any of these anymore .
I fell sick because of this fucking matter too . Really , its a sooner or later thing tt my heart really tears apart . I dont know how long more can i control myself . Relying on th bloody medicine to keep me alive now . Relying on yr voice to give me energy to move on . Always laughing and being happy at th outside but do you know ? Th soul inside me is crying and sobing every second. Yes , in everyone's eyes , IM TH BAD GUY ! But th fact is tt , imma victim too ..
Do you even know i cried ? Do you even know how many tears dropped ? DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MY HEART BLEEDS ?! Do you even know how my heart feels ? Do you even know i fell damm sick thanks to you ? Do you even know how i really FUCKING feel ?!
I give up really , i give up in everything . Being so stressed up because of this , i cant help but to let my tears flow again and again . If only i can scream it all out in one shot but sadly i cant . I only can keep every single feeling to myself . Everytime i see you , i hold on to my tears . And after let everything out when no one is there . One fine day really , i'll fall into depression again . Its already predicted . Trust me , its only a matter of time when i really cant take any of these anymore .
I fell sick because of this fucking matter too . Really , its a sooner or later thing tt my heart really tears apart . I dont know how long more can i control myself . Relying on th bloody medicine to keep me alive now . Relying on yr voice to give me energy to move on . Always laughing and being happy at th outside but do you know ? Th soul inside me is crying and sobing every second. Yes , in everyone's eyes , IM TH BAD GUY ! But th fact is tt , imma victim too ..
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Boredom
Just ended tuition , going to do my dnt now . Tired but no choice yeap ?
Meeting matos at 8.15 tmr . Love wednesdays !! School starts late and tts th only reason :) HEHE ! Gimme inspiration for dnt manns ! Cant think of anything ):
Toodles ! ^^
Meeting matos at 8.15 tmr . Love wednesdays !! School starts late and tts th only reason :) HEHE ! Gimme inspiration for dnt manns ! Cant think of anything ):
Toodles ! ^^
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Sucky
Perhaps you're right . Imma bitch tt couldnt be let into yr life .
You really dont know how yr words and speeches hurt me .
You really dont know how yr words and speeches hurt me .
Friday, April 9, 2010
Secrets
Went to a childcare just now , hehe ! Had so much fun playing with th children ! All so adorable ! Cant wait to go there next friday ^^ . Gonna play with them more manns ! HAHA ! Did chicken dance and pasting of stuffy . HAHA ! I love them so much ! Having ss ip tomorrow . SIANS ! LOL ! See if i can go anot , see how i feel tmr bahs . LOL ! So tired now . Lol . Headaches is getting better i guess .
OMG ! I got 18/20 for my matrix test ! SO HAPPY !! hehe !! First time in my life , haha !! Cant keep smiling when i saw th paper . Going to study history now .
Shall upload pictures next time !
Lovely toodles ^^ .
Im just not good enough to be yours .
OMG ! I got 18/20 for my matrix test ! SO HAPPY !! hehe !! First time in my life , haha !! Cant keep smiling when i saw th paper . Going to study history now .
Shall upload pictures next time !
Lovely toodles ^^ .
Im just not good enough to be yours .
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Life
Sometimes things just dont go th way tt you want it to go . And yeap , this is life . No choice . I'll pass through this hurdles , and be th real me again . Cheers to peeps tt cheer me up ! Thanks yeap ? ^^ .
Met matos at prime at 8.15 . Was on time and i remember to bring my sketchbook ! Hohoho ! After tt went for dnt class and i cant think of any other designs for my pushcart . OMG ! I old lerhs x) Hehe . damm blur today , left my water bottle at th parade square and had to go back to take it . Damm stupid sia . LOL ! Recess than emath . Had test , dont know how do some sums , perhaps i'll just border line pass or FAIL AGAIN ! LOL ! English class had fun talking to wenmin too . Poa was sleeping all th way cause my head was damm pain ! And after tt stomach cramp ._. Fcuk right ?! LOL ! After tt assembly , pon it but was caught . damm it ! Dont wanna talk about it . LOL .
After school waited for mum till 4.25 . Like finally she came ! LOL , thanks mainly to wenmin and van for pei-ing me ^^ . Hehe . After tt wenjie came back but i gtg already , LOL ! Yeap yeap , than mummy brought me to see th doctor . Blood pressure was low for a moment , hais ! Than when reach home after bathe had cold sweat , so ate all my medicine which made me damm drowsy . Lol , Not sure going school tmr anot . Hehe . Shall be going to do my work now , lol . Lovely toodles ^^ !
Th best part was tt th pain is too pain to describe .
Met matos at prime at 8.15 . Was on time and i remember to bring my sketchbook ! Hohoho ! After tt went for dnt class and i cant think of any other designs for my pushcart . OMG ! I old lerhs x) Hehe . damm blur today , left my water bottle at th parade square and had to go back to take it . Damm stupid sia . LOL ! Recess than emath . Had test , dont know how do some sums , perhaps i'll just border line pass or FAIL AGAIN ! LOL ! English class had fun talking to wenmin too . Poa was sleeping all th way cause my head was damm pain ! And after tt stomach cramp ._. Fcuk right ?! LOL ! After tt assembly , pon it but was caught . damm it ! Dont wanna talk about it . LOL .
After school waited for mum till 4.25 . Like finally she came ! LOL , thanks mainly to wenmin and van for pei-ing me ^^ . Hehe . After tt wenjie came back but i gtg already , LOL ! Yeap yeap , than mummy brought me to see th doctor . Blood pressure was low for a moment , hais ! Than when reach home after bathe had cold sweat , so ate all my medicine which made me damm drowsy . Lol , Not sure going school tmr anot . Hehe . Shall be going to do my work now , lol . Lovely toodles ^^ !
Th best part was tt th pain is too pain to describe .
Reality
Th truth of reality , it reminds me of what is happening in me . What i maybe when times pass , it reminds me of how weak i can be . I want to tell you I miss you but reality just doesnt let me , i want to tell you i want you but i know i cant anymore . Perhaps , we are just meant for each other . Nights and nights of tears , you dont notice .
Terrible
"It all seems to be like a dream , but th pain in my heart makes me know tt this really happened".
Everything is over now . I hoped tt i was just a nightmare but th tears tt drops my eyes reminds me tt this really had happened before . Th tears are just too stubborn , it just refuses to stop . I cried alone , i cried silently . Because im afraid tt you'll see this weak side of me . I want you to only remember th strong side of me , I want you to remember tt i am a crazy girl tt is optimistic to everything . I dont want you to see th weakest side of me , which is so pathetic . Yr memory of me will only be "Charmaine being th happiest girl on earth , she smiles at every single little thing , she laughs at everything she sees and even when she cries , it will be tears of laughter . " And not , " Charmaine cries too , she never smiled truthfully and when she cries , are tears of pain and hurt . "
I'll shall let yr memory of me , stop at th strongest side of me . Im sorry but , I guess i am just like any other human being . I laugh when im happy and sob when im down .
Why when i see yr teddybear and flowers tears will just start dropping ? Why cant these stubborn tears of mine listen to me ? Why does th sight of you makes me down again ?
God , take me out of misery . Take me away with you if you want , just dont let me live in such pain tt i cant express to anyone . Prayers to you are made and please grant my prayers .
Sleepless nights , my whole mind is our memories when we smiled , laughed , argued and loved ..
Everything is over now . I hoped tt i was just a nightmare but th tears tt drops my eyes reminds me tt this really had happened before . Th tears are just too stubborn , it just refuses to stop . I cried alone , i cried silently . Because im afraid tt you'll see this weak side of me . I want you to only remember th strong side of me , I want you to remember tt i am a crazy girl tt is optimistic to everything . I dont want you to see th weakest side of me , which is so pathetic . Yr memory of me will only be "Charmaine being th happiest girl on earth , she smiles at every single little thing , she laughs at everything she sees and even when she cries , it will be tears of laughter . " And not , " Charmaine cries too , she never smiled truthfully and when she cries , are tears of pain and hurt . "
I'll shall let yr memory of me , stop at th strongest side of me . Im sorry but , I guess i am just like any other human being . I laugh when im happy and sob when im down .
Why when i see yr teddybear and flowers tears will just start dropping ? Why cant these stubborn tears of mine listen to me ? Why does th sight of you makes me down again ?
God , take me out of misery . Take me away with you if you want , just dont let me live in such pain tt i cant express to anyone . Prayers to you are made and please grant my prayers .
Sleepless nights , my whole mind is our memories when we smiled , laughed , argued and loved ..
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Liar
You may not know .
I've waited and waited but nothing came by me . Everything is going all wrong , too wrong . All the bullshit tt you told me , i dont believe anymore . How can tell me so many excuses when th conclusion is tt , You're wrong . Im utterly disappointed in you . It was my fault , to even give you chance again and again , Alright ? Sorry , I had enough . All these is tearing me apart . I cried for day and nights but did you even notice ? I am a fool to trust in these stuffy again . Let me go , please . Why must you leave everything to th last minute ? Your words are like millions of knifes snabbed into my heart . I hate you .
No points explaning already , i've got th facts right . Its too late .
I've waited and waited but nothing came by me . Everything is going all wrong , too wrong . All the bullshit tt you told me , i dont believe anymore . How can tell me so many excuses when th conclusion is tt , You're wrong . Im utterly disappointed in you . It was my fault , to even give you chance again and again , Alright ? Sorry , I had enough . All these is tearing me apart . I cried for day and nights but did you even notice ? I am a fool to trust in these stuffy again . Let me go , please . Why must you leave everything to th last minute ? Your words are like millions of knifes snabbed into my heart . I hate you .
No points explaning already , i've got th facts right . Its too late .
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